memory

July 9, 2018
Mary,
I don’t know what love is. All I have come to the terms after pondering on excerpts from books is that it changes you. You wake up one fine morning and feel something different in the air around you. You start liking things that you didn’t the night before. You feel extreme restlessness in everything you do and the only comfort is talking to the one you love. Mary, if I can be brutally honest, YOUR love has become my maze. There is no escape from this.
What is coincidence, Mary? Is it a sign from the universe or merely an inevitable happening? Was our meeting a fate written eons ago? Neither did I believe in stars nor understood the language of the universe until I met you and it changed everything. If I hadn’t met you, the universe would have made me realize that my life was incomplete and I would have looked for the missing puzzle my whole life until I would have found you.
If I get a chance to fall for you all over again, I would still choose the same month — When the glow on your face perfectly blended with the color of autumn, as if a fine artist made a painting and you came alive from it to meet me.

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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July 3, 2018
Mary,
I wonder if you’ve even the slightest clue on how much helpless I am finding myself today to express my deep feelings for you. For the first time ever in my life, I have fallen short of words. If only you were here, strolling quietly on the pavement with me, while cool breeze plays with your silky hair, I would have recited a poem in silence, for best of the conversations happen through eyes. No matter how powerful the words are, they are minuscule in matters of the heart.

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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A thing in particular I don’t like about life is that sometimes, you get to know someone only to realize later it wasn’t bound to last and a time comes when you have to let it go. It all starts as fun. You screw up sleeps only to live an extra hour in that enchantment. Slowly it grips you in its storm and before you know, it throws you to the other side of the emotional landscape where golden sunshines are annihilated by gloomy thunderstorms, pleasant autumns are taken over by harsh winters and rays of hope are veiled by incessant rains.

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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Sometimes, I find myself drowned in flood of emotions and if I don’t pen it down quickly, my head will burst for it can’t hold so much of information. It’s like hundreds of thousands of volts of current passing through the brain cells. It doesn’t matter if you read it. It doesn’t matter if I publish it. Akin to Pensieve it’s for me, where I pluck segment of my memory and preserve it, may be to review years later if it was worth all the pain and efforts.

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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It was a lazy noon in summer, the time of the year when the sun is brightest, throwing its fire and burning every skin its rays fall upon. Good books are great companions. They don’t bore you. They are selfless. They entertain you, enlighten you and in return, they don’t ask for sacrifices. The reader opened a chapter from his favorite book and started reading quietly.

Time doesn’t wait for a person or an event to occur. Few things, fortunately for us, are timeless. Months had bled away since their last meeting. They stumbled upon each other again over coffee, probably for one last time. It was like old times, except something had changed with time. She had blossomed into a prettier and smarter woman. Her exuberance and flamboyance was storming him like hell. The new life had definitely done a remarkable work on her. She was never happier before.

Their deep meaningful talks were always very engrossing. It was an addiction. Once you’re deep inside, it’s hard to get out. But this time, it soon took a different, more interesting turn.

“So, how’s life? Did you get a new girlfriend? When are you getting married?”, she bombarded him with questions.

“Either I’m the most damaged and screwed up soul in the world or I’ve kept my doors tightly closed.”, he chuckled.

“You know it sounds almost impossible to hear statement like this from a person of your stature”, she said in a soft voice.

“Sometimes, I wonder how two persons end up living with one another the whole life without being bored”, he changed the topic swiftly like a traffic signal.

“Why so?”, she asked in wonder.

“You see human psychology is weird and all messed up. People usually get bored of things sooner or later. It is difficult to stick to one thing for long.”

“May be not if you get along with the right person. What kind of girl you’re looking for?”, she leaned forward.

“Well, I haven’t given a deep thought on this yet. But I think I am more inclined towards artistic things. Art fascinates me, for it doesn’t lie. It requires compassion, and patience. As you rightly said, choosing a life partner is the greatest risk one can take in life. It’s a lifelong bond of love, care and respect. I would like to end up with a girl who understands art or at least respects it.

“Well, here is the funny thing. The only such girl I know of is YOU.”, he said and tried to peek into her eyes. Some answers can’t be said in words.

The reader turned the page in haste as if it was a matter of life and death.

There was weird grave silence. She didn’t know what to say. If only god had designed heartbeats to be more throbbing, he could have probably known what was going on.

More than anything, the reader wished to have this exact conversation with the girl he strongly believes to be his potential better half. The only question was, was such a moment gonna happen in his life?

Farewell! Until we meet again.

Copyright © 2018, Aashish Barnwal, All rights reserved.
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Every evening on the roof top of my hostel in Delhi, I used to see the shining airplanes going off into the thin air and wondered when I would get a chance to fly in one of these with my own capability. While that dream was fulfilled the moment I joined Microsoft, I started wondering to fly to United States in the best of airlines to feel how is it like to be in the most powerful country in the world..You can say that my dreams always get upgraded.

Being at Microsoft has its own benefits

I owned an important piece of project in Microsoft. There was a talk going on to fasten the velocity of work we were doing. Given the complexity of the project, its architecture was written in many layers few of which was coded by team at Redmond. Due to time zone difference and the critical timing, we had to act on it quickly to enhance quality of product. They decided to send me over to interact with people, understand different layers and their communication.

A sudden plan

I hardly remember traveling somewhere in such a big rush. It was 4 O’ clock in the evening when I was checking flight tickets and changing date in the calendar on the online portal to finalize which day to travel. 6 O’ clock, my friends found a flight that was to take off the next morning to Seattle and I spent next hour mentally preparing myself to fly so unprepared. It was just hard to believe that I would be traveling to US, one of my dream destinations without any preparation. My parents were asking me every other day if I bought winter apparels. I usually prefer to plan everything in advance and this time, without have a flight ticket in hand, I didn’t want. With support from my friends at Microsoft, I finally decided to give it a chance. There are few things in world for which you need not to be prepared. After all, traveling somewhere without much thinking has its own share of fun. And this was not somewhere. This was what I dreamed of long enough.

It all started with a joke. I was worried I was not getting any ticket in good airlines next week. I was tired, exhausted not a clue on what to do. “There is a flight next day at 4 in the morning. You can catch that.”

“Holy cow! This would be too early. How on earth would I be able to catch that?”

I knew they were serious when my manager said. “Actually, I think you can go.”

“But I haven’t done any shopping”, my forehead was shining with worry lines.

“It’s alright. What are the things you need? You can borrow them from me.”
My friends helped to prepare an itinerary. I literally got only 2 hours to dine and pack my bags. I usually never take more than 30 minutes to pack, but since this was my first trip to US, I didn’t want to take any chances.

It’s Emirates, baby

The moment I stepped into the flight, I got the answer why it has been coined as the best airlines in the world. The service, the infra and the experience was just amazing. It is very unlikely that you would be left unhappy after an Emirates travel. It was a 22 hours long journey with a 3 hours layover in Dubai. Being a movie buff and their huge collection of movies, I didn’t find it difficult to spend time.

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Hello from Redmond!

The flight was just on time. You might find it funny but the first thing I missed at Seattle airport was no taxi driver asking me where would I want to go. I didn’t have US Sim Card and it was freezing cold to stay for long in the open weather. There are two Marriott hotels in Redmond and I missed to mention which one I wanted to go to the local taxi. Even with a 50% chance of landing at the correct hotel didn’t work for me. Redmond is kinda a developed village. It’s hard to find anyone on the road. It was near difficult to ask someone for navigation. Luckily, the second Marriott was just a few blocks away.

Few of the pictures of the hotel:

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I learned that labor is costly in US. The gorgeous lady at the business center handed me over a map which had directions to follow my room. It’s very unlike in India that you would have to carry luggage to your room on your own in a decent hotel.

My first status update from Facebook on the arrival night.

It’s been only 11:00 PM here and I am done with sleep. It’s quite chilly outside and the roads are empty. A grave silence is there in the winds. Next couple of nights, I am gonna spend as a night crawler. I wonder if the new government would encourage vigilante. All of a sudden, I feel like I have all the time in the world and I have very less to do.
If I was not able to respond to your chats due to my busy schedule, Let’s catch up now

Being a hobby photographer, I found everything very interesting and screaming at me to be clicked.

The view outside my hotel room. As you can see, cars are parked in the open air. In the morning, the car windows are covered with a thick layer of ice.

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Just by the first look, I can say that discipline and patience flow in veins here. I never saw anyone rushing, everyone (well almost) greets you with a wide smile, cute children laughing on pavements and the most important thing – punctuality. People prefer to be on time. They dine by 8, sleep by 11 and woke up at 6.

Good morning Redmond

It is said that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. You don’t realize it until you skip dinner and have a heavy breakfast in Indian style dinner. Good morning Redmond!

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!JetLag

I was under impression that I won’t be getting sleep at usual time because of all the jet lag stories I heard. To my surprise, jet lag did magic to my schedule which I couldn’t follow even after trying for 10 years and many apps claiming to help you do so. I slept at 10, wake up at 6 and rushed to office by 8. It was just an amazing feeling. It was refreshing. I was way more productive. I never knew a good schedule can do miracles in your day to day life.

US Diaries – Part 2

 

Copyright © 2017, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.
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I hear people shouting outside. I hear bursting firecrackers. I hear them celebrating. Many of my friends already planned this night in advance. But to me, it’s just another year, another night. For the first time in life, I wish to pass this night quietly staying alone, no WhatsApp and phone calls. I don’t feel excited or find any kind of adrenaline rush in my veins. Have I grown too old for celebrations? Or is it a sign of maturity? Is that how mature people feel, life with no excitement? Is it because they have witnessed many of such moments that this is just another old, rugged hour?

2016 was the year of learning and exploring the meaning of life. None of us can make through life without suffering some pain. Having lived my fair share, I can tell you that most difficult to endure is loneliness. We must find someone or something to invest our time into. Last year was all about self-realization and finding peace in myself. It was about discovering that it’s not all about career and love. There is a whole big world out there screaming at you to be explored.
In a nutshell, I can sum up my life in 2016 in three points:
1. Visited 8 Indian states and one foreign land
2. Tried my hands on Photography, Piano and Poetry
3. Witnessed that life is a blessing and every moment is priceless after going through the toughest, darkest phase of my life

Unforgettable moments

There are many unforgettable moments I had in 2016, and mentioning only one would be doing injustice to others:

Adventures

Being inspired from movie Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (You won’t get life again), I experienced sky diving, scuba diving, para sailing and sea walking. You can have a glimpse here:

Flying like a bird

A moment before scuba diving:

A walk on the sea-bed

Darkest phase

Met an accident and spent 72 days of my life lying in bed devastated, traumatized, broke cursing fate and finding meaning of life. Funny part was I and my dad both lost 8 kgs of weight, I worrying about me and he worrying about me.

Diving into artistic world

Channelized my energy in positive direction and tried my hands in artistic world – Photography, Piano and Poetry

I showcase my work in Fashion and Glamour here – Instaglam | Facebook and Instaglam (@instaglamofficial)

Recognition

Got published my interview on one of the most popular technical site – Geek on the top – Aashish Barnwal | Make a habit of writing clean, readable, flexible and robust code – GeeksforGeeks

It’s time to set doable goals for 2017. Wish you a very happy new year!

Copyright © 2016, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.

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This poem is dedicated to our old nostalgic childhood days. Days when we were innocent and life was simpler. People who grew up in 90s would feel and understand this better because they have lived those golden days. Hope this verse let you relive those moments. Let this verse drown you into those memory chains.

Bachpan ke woh din jab hum khub mastiyan karte the,
Nadan bade the, kisi se hum na darte the,
Kitni saral thi zindagi hamari,
Phir bhi bade khush rahte the,

Jab chhoti ungli chhu lene bhar se dosti ho jaya karti thi,
Nafrat aur jaatiwaad hume samajh na ati thi,
Jab garmi ki chhutiyon mein kulfi ko mann lalchata tha,
Masterji ki ek chhadi se pura homework ho jata tha,
Jab tv par do hi channel ata tha,
Jab tales pin aur shaktiman hame bahut bhata tha,
Jab ghar mein ek hi phone ki ghanti bazti thi,
Jab doston ke sath badi shararat hoti thi,
Jab pokemon go nahi, luka chhupi ki masti thi,
Baarish ke mausam mein kagaz ki kasti thi,
Jab google maps nahi, logon se pata puchha karte the,
Apni soch ko facebook nahi, bas diary mein likh diya karte the,

Woh nani ke ghar jane ko bade utavle hote the,
Pepperment ki toffiyon ke liye hum fut fut ke rote the,
Woh pariyon ki kahaniyan sune bina neend kahan ati thi,
School mein mummy papa ki yaad badi satati thi,
Jab class mein top kar puri duniya jeet lete the,
Papa ke gifts bade anokhe hote the,
Utni khushiyan toh aaj kisi cheez se nahi milti hain,
Ab samajh aya khwaishein toh maa baap ke paison se hi puri hoti hain,

Woh bachpan kitna suhana tha,
Khushiyon ka khazana tha,
Bachpan mein log pucha karte the,
Bade hokar kya banna hai,
Jawab ab samajh aya,
Phir se bachcha banna hai,
Woh bachpan ke din kahan gaye,
Yaaron hum kyun bade ho gaye.

PS: I will add the english translation soon.

Copyright © 2016, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.

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