September 25, 2018
Mary,
A thing in particular I don’t like about life is that sometimes, we get to know someone deeply only to realize later it wasn’t bound to last and a time comes when we have to let it go. It all starts as fun. We screw up sleeps only to live an extra hour in that enchantment. Slowly it grips us in its storm and before we know, it throws us to the other side of the emotional landscape where golden sunshines are annihilated by gloomy thunderstorms, pleasant autumns are taken over by harsh winters and rays of hope are veiled by incessant rains.

It has been said that people our hearts beat for leave a part of them in us marking our souls forever. I know our time was as ephemeral as all beautiful things in the world are. But if there was a moment ever when my presence brought upon your face a smile, my words made you chuckle and my voice comforted you in times of distress, I will assume my existence in this universe has made a mark upon your soul.

What is love, Mary? Is it the sum of all beautiful moments we had? Is love sweet? If it is, why is it that your love is hurting me like hell. Why is that, that thing in your life soured all the things we promised each other? Was our love that weak, Mary? Was it that brittle?

My words would never measure upto what I feel for you. Before I met you, I used to spend nights in silent contemplation of the void in my life. Looking up at the stars, and the moon in lonely nights, I wondered when my life would be miraculous. And then “us” happened. Your presence filled my dormant life with joy. How will I wake up without the crack of your sweet voice?

This is probably the last letter you’ll receive from me. I won’t be writing any more letters to you, for my mind has subdued my heart. All those letters you read were penned with heart, hence they might have felt real. Had mind interfered in between, there would have been a lot of logic, and calculation, and psychology, and words won’t have been the same.

Copyright © 2019, Aashish Barnwal,  All rights reserved.